Different, Not Disordered: The Power of Identity-First Language
Language is more than just words—it shapes how we see ourselves, how others see us, and how we navigate the world. Within the neurodivergent community, one important conversation centers on the use of identity-first language. This means saying "Autistic person" or "ADHDer" instead of "person with Autism" or "person with ADHD."
Why does this distinction matter? And how do we navigate personal preferences when it comes to language and identity?
What is Identity-First Language?
Identity-first language places the identity descriptor before the person—"Autistic person," "ADHDer," "AuDHDer" (someone who is both Autistic and has ADHD). This contrasts with person-first language, which puts the person before the condition—"person with Autism" or "person with ADHD."
While both approaches have their place, many neurodivergent individuals prefer identity-first language because it reflects pride, empowerment, and a sense of community. It's a cornerstone of the neurodiversity-affirming movement, which challenges ableism and reframes neurodivergence as a valid and natural variation of human experience.
Why Identity-First Language Matters
For many neurodivergent individuals, identity-first language is about more than grammar—it's about how we understand ourselves and our place in the world.
Rejecting the Deficit Model
When we use terms like "Autistic person" or "ADHDer," we reject the notion that these traits are abnormalities or disorders that need to be fixed. Instead, we celebrate them as meaningful and valuable ways of experiencing and interacting with the world.
Rather than positioning neurodivergence as something separate from who someone is—something they "have" like an illness—identity-first language acknowledges it as an integral part of their identity, similar to how we might say "gay person" or "deaf person" rather than "person with gayness" or "person with deafness."
Challenging Neuronormativity
Identity-first language is a powerful way to counteract neuronormativity—the idea that neurotypical traits, behaviors, and ways of being are the standard or "correct" way to function. By centering neurodivergence as a valid identity rather than a deficit, we push back against the societal assumption that there's only one "normal" way to think, learn, and exist.
An Act of Empowerment and Resistance
For many people, acknowledging the various aspects of their identity—gender, sexuality, ethnic background, and neurotype—is an incredibly empowering experience. It's an act of resistance to the pathologization of differences and variations.
Using identity-first language can be a way of saying: "This is who I am, and I'm not ashamed. My neurodivergence isn't something to be hidden or minimized—it's part of what makes me, me."
The Case for Person-First Language
While identity-first language resonates with many, it's important to acknowledge that language is deeply personal, and preferences vary.
Some individuals feel more comfortable with person-first language, such as "person with ADHD," because it emphasizes that they are more than their diagnosis. It separates their identity from their neurodivergence, particularly for those who feel like they don't want to be defined by it.
This perspective is valid and deserves respect. For some, especially those newly diagnosed or those who have experienced significant stigma, person-first language can feel like a way to maintain agency and wholeness—a reminder that neurodivergence is just one aspect of who they are, not the entirety of their identity.
There's No One-Size-Fits-All Approach
Ultimately, the debate over identity-first versus person-first language highlights a broader truth: there's no universal right answer. What works for one person might not resonate with another, and that's okay.
Individual preferences can also shift over time. Someone newly diagnosed might initially prefer person-first language and later embrace identity-first language as they become more comfortable with their neurodivergent identity. Others may always prefer one over the other, and some may not have a strong preference at all.
The key is to listen, learn, and respect the terms that someone chooses for themselves.
When in doubt, ask: "How do you prefer to identify?" or "What language feels right to you?" This simple act of respect honors someone's autonomy and acknowledges that they are the expert on their own identity.
Identity-First Language in Counselling
As a counselor, I've found that language can be a powerful tool for fostering self-acceptance. For many of my neurodivergent clients, embracing identity-first language has helped them shift from seeing themselves as "broken" to recognizing their unique strengths and perspectives.
It can be a small but impactful step toward challenging internalized ableism and embracing neurodivergent ways of being as valuable and meaningful. When clients begin to say "I'm an ADHDer" or "I'm Autistic" with pride rather than shame, something shifts. They move from a place of deficiency to a place of identity and community.
Personally, I refer to myself as an ADHDer. This language reflects how I understand my own neurodivergence—not as something I carry or manage, but as an intrinsic part of who I am and how I move through the world.
Moving Forward with Respect and Curiosity
Language matters because it shapes how we see ourselves and how we're seen by others. Identity-first language can be empowering, affirming, and community-building for many neurodivergent individuals. It challenges outdated deficit models and centers neurodivergence as a natural part of human diversity.
At the same time, respecting individual preferences is paramount. Not everyone will use or prefer the same language, and that diversity of expression deserves to be honoured.
As we navigate these conversations—whether in therapy, in our communities, or in our daily lives—let's approach them with curiosity, humility, and respect. Let's listen to how people describe themselves and follow their lead. And let's continue to challenge systems and language that pathologize or diminish neurodivergent experiences.
Because at the end of the day, we're not disordered—we're different. And that difference is valuable.
If you'd like support exploring your neurodivergent identity, navigating diagnosis, or finding language that feels authentic to you, ADHD counselling can provide a safe, affirming space to do that work.
